an honest friendship, when it is broken, it takes a long time to fix it back. even if it is fixed, there are bound to be some scar. i admit that i will treat that person with a little bit of prejudice. and since my trust for him/her was shattered, i can never trust him/her as much as it first started.

on an unrelated incident, i was quite pissed at something that happened last night. i was at pasar borong drinking iced milo when i got a weird sms from eileen. i thought she mistakenly sent it to me so i called back and asked. i got even more confused when she started telling me even weirder things, things such as chatting on yahoo messenger when i didn't even chat with anyone yesterday using that particular IM client. i was like, what the heck is happening?

now, don't get me wrong here, i wasn't angry at eileen.

it turns out that someone registered a new yahoo account and chatted with thye shin and eileen. that person claimed that he is howzan using a different nick. apparently, he managed to annoy both of them and all the while they believed it was me! i was quite angry nevertheless and if i ever find out who that person is, s/he might get a surprise from me. i only hope that they believe all that crap was not from me, because it really wasn't! *sigh*

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

it started with a stupid lab test cancelation. i only knew about it when i was a few metres from reaching the campus. all that petrol for nothing. the worst thing is i have to drag myself from the bed because i only had 3-4 hours of sleep the night before. then again, i pity thye shin because he had to drive further.

fast forward to evening (the whole afternoon was spent dreaming) me, lay wei, ching yin, chee hui and zhi yang went for dinner at gula melaka restaurant before catching a movie at 7pm. did a little window shopping after the movie and then we went to sit tea house to spend the last few hours of valentine's day there, chatting and laughing around. although there wasn't much activity to be done, all of us enjoyed the outing. probably because the group is small and everyone had a chance to blend in. i honestly enjoyed myself too... =)

i meant to post this a long time ago but i just didn't find the right mood and time to post.

it's so disappointing when someone you consider a good friend, which you have great respect of, which you speak highly of, suddenly stabs you in the back without you knowing for a whole month. and after realising this, you were supposed to forget about it within 24 hours of knowing everything that ever happened behind your back, and make peace! like what the?

no prize for guessing correctly. it happened to me.

the following days, i started to know more and more developing stories (cis, felt like reporter on cnn), and i slowly got a clearer picture of who he really is. all my previous assumptions of his characteristics are shattered. i was disappointed and hurt beyond words.

just a day after i publish my last post, the exact thing happened. it's like being given a hard slap on the face. why do i always trust the wrong person? when can i escape from this loop?

although i seem to have many friends, but sometimes i just felt so lonely inside. i know this may sound unfair disrespect to some of them, but i couldn't help it. there are times when i'm completely lost and confused, and there seem to be no one around to guide me through. i believe the problem lies within myself, but i don't know how to rectify it.

i admit that i am quite emotional, and sometimes i let my emotions take control over me. a simple gesture can leave me smiling for days, yet i get upset easily as well, even on things that are totally unrelated to me, none of my business and which i have no control of...