i've decided to remove wiyang from blogging at this site after some discussion. we think that it's better for us to each have our own blogs so i will not be so confusing to read, although only a handful of people know about my blog anyways. this is just a place for me to write some useless thoughts.

went out with wiyang and edmund yesterday to buy a present for our ex-classmate, seok ching. she is hosting a party tonight although her birthday is on the 9th of september. i hate buying presents because i always don't know what to buy, be it for a guy or a girl. luckily i saw kwee ying and siow fei at mahkota parade and i took the opportunity to ask for suggestions. she gave me an idea of what to buy and being lazy persons to think any further, we stuck to the idea. within minutes, we managed to buy a present which we think is suitable enough and doesn't cost us a bomb. since we have nothing else to do and wiyang was waiting for his digital photos to be developed and also wanted to buy some clothes to bring back to germany, we walked around aimlessly. we saw many ex-schoolmates and also lots of MMU students. the most surprising is to see a senior who had just finished his law studies in UK. he will start working in a law firm soon in KL. it reminds us that it will be our turn to venture into the job market soon. *sigh*

i'll be going to the birthday party later tonight. a 21st birthday party. wiyang is partly reluctant to go because he thinks that he won't know most of the people she invited. i'm curious to know who will attend and to see how they've changed and all. most important of all is to see their partners, if they have any. i'll make sure that my digicam is in full charge. hehe...

aaah...at last. finished my final exams. i'm sure i didn't do well in this exam. after all that's been going on during the past 3 weeks. it's like going to hell and back again. my database resit is yesterday and i'm glad that i managed to spot one of the question. i did slightly better than the 1st time, although i only use a few hours of studying. and now for the holidays. other than going to genting on the 1st of september to the 3rd, i have no other plans for the remaining holidays. i just don't feel like going anywhere. i somehow lost my enthusiasm for everything. maybe i'll just stay at home to rot. or maybe spend time with wiyang since he's leaving Malaysia soon. or just borrow tons of animes and watch till my eyes bleed...

finally calmed down after 2 days of extreme depression. finally i'm able to eat normally again. finally i'm able to understand the phrase "makan tak lalu, tidur tak lelap, mandi tak basah" (which reminds me of a funny thing, my friend actually add another phrase of his own when our BM teacher mentioned this during form 3 - berak tak keluar.) i've never thought i would be in that situation before. i've never thought that being hurt would cause such a big impact to a person. there's just something in your stomach that no matter how you force yourself to eat, you can never eat a full meal. it's really a struggle. and no matter how tired you are, you can never seem to sleep. it was torture!

during these few days, i was able to see the real faces of some people who i call friends. suddenly some of them became so concerned whether i'm ok or not, to which i replied "no". and then there's this overused phrase of "don't think too much lah...". but then again, there are some who managed to cheer me up a little. they did nothing but lend me an ear and some words of encouragement. there's nothing in the world which can console me at that moment so there's really no point trying. i felt much better knowing there's someone who understand my situation, who supported my actions and decisions, who felt that i was being treated unfairly, who felt that i have every right and reason to be depressed, angry, disappointed and hurt.

i guess that is part and parcel of life. i just need a lot of time to recover. shit happens.

wow..bad news after bad news. i can't believe it. when is it going to end? oklar i'm tortured enough already. i even have a sore knuckle for punching the wall after hearing about the bad news. so what's the bad news? i'm not going to say it here because if i were to post it as-a-matter-of-factly, a lot of people is going to get hurt. there's already one so deeply hurt that only time's going to tell when he's going to heal completely. so i'll just control my fingers ..

somehow after yesterday i felt like my life is a endless loop process. it happened before, and it will happen again. it just did yesterday. and i had the whole night until now (i didn't sleep at all, maybe a 20 minutes nap, i don't remember) to think of what happened.

anyway, managed to get a chunk of my problems out and threw it out of the window. so i don't even want to remember about it now. a new day has begun!

this is just great. just after i post my last blog where i said i could relax for a while, comes the news that i have to re-sit for one of my papers because apparently someone complained about others getting tips (note : EXACTLY the same question) for the final exams. well, there's this lecturer (i don't know who yet) happened to give his students a surprise quiz in class. and some of the students say it is some kind of tips for the final exam. so they start photocopying the questions and answers to their friends. i got a look at it, but i didn't believe it so i didn't get a copy. and the rest is history. i kind of expected this would happen. because some people would feel unfair for not getting the tips. and some people studied hard for it. honestly, the questions are quite tough. now the Student Representative Council are negotiating with Exam Unit. i'm not sure what objective they're trying to achieve, scrap the re-examination, perhaps? anyway, now some of them are telling me that there's a protest going on next monday. hmm.. i wonder whether this will make it into local newspaper.

finally found some time to blog again. my finals is not over yet, but 4 of the 5 papers i'm taking this sem is over. and those 4 papers are the hardest. so, i'm feeling a bit relaxed right now. heck, i can even catch a movie after the 2nd last paper. the movie was bad boys 2. it was nice..full of explosions, gunfires, typical jerry bruckheimer productions. there's also a lot of swearing and F word dialogue which was coveniently censored off. now that spoiled my viewing!

yesterday watched the amazing race 4 finale on axn, astro. i wonder why but everytime i root for a team to win, that team will never win. and the team i don't want to see winning got it. damn...i must be a bad luck charm.

Thanks to Howzan, I am now also blogging this site. And thanks to Howzan again, manage to give them a little surprise by arriving home one day earlier than expected. Thanks man. Really feel good to be back in Asia, especially the food part. Foreign food sucks, sometimes I even wonder whether they are deserved to be called food. Of course there are nice food too, but in this case, it will be unaffordable. I don't think I am going to cook anything this month. hehe... Anyway, good luck for your exam, howzan! Best of luck!

i should be studying for my finals which is due in 4 days, but i didn't. i'd rather be reading magazines/newspaper than my lecture notes. these few days was like hell for me. don't bother to ask. i might not want to talk about it. or i will bore you to death when i start to talk about it. couldn't sleep well at night. even if i do sleep, i can only successfully do so at about 5am in the morning. well, that explains why i didn't blog recently.

one week more to my final exam and i haven't studied a bit! well, not totally my fault. most of the lecturers schedule our presentations to the last minute, and we had to prepare for them. and yesterday i went through a lot of trouble just to get myself unbarred from taking exam and doing the course registration for next semester. i got barred because i didn't settle my pre-U tuition fees which is supposed to be covered by the PTPTN loan (which i haven't got). it really makes me wonder how the MMU staffs are doing things. when i first enter the university, they didn't insist me to do medical check up. they just say it half-heartedly so i thought no need-lah. after one year at the university, they want it or else i won't be offered the stupid loan for pre-U (alpha) that they came up with after PTPTN changed their policy to not allow pre-U students to get a PTPTN loan. they told me i don't have to do a xray but the doctor insisted to avoid any future complications that might arise. so i had to get my ass to the hospital to xray my chest, wait for the xray to be processed and go back to campus to see the doctor. and then i had to fill another form (guarantor form, to make sure i can pay my tuition fees)in which i had to drive a short journey to meet up with my dad at a certain primary school and get him to sign the form. the thing is, there has to be a witness the witness must be a headmaster or a grade A officer from the civil service. luckily my dad was with a few other headmasters and it's just a matter of time before it was completed and i have to drive back to the campus for the third time to hand in the stupid forms. and then i have to queue up to show one finance officer the offer letter of the loan to get myself unbarred. and they call this a MULTIMEDIA UNIVERSITY where computers were supposed to speed things up and make our lives easier. *grunts*

here's an email i found while cleaning my mailbox. quite funny to me, but you must understand Hokkien to be able to enjoy it:

Test your Hokkien skills.:)
GCE 'O' levels Hokkien Exam

Testing of your Hokkien skills!! Just got this from
my Ah Beng and Ah Lian friends in Southpoint and I can't stop laughing.

Intructions
1.Read the passage carefully
2.Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading
3.Not that difficult, chin chai do lah

Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
Singalella why become rich

Koo zhar we chee ay char bor kia, Singalella. She
got two sisters, but the stepmarder hor, and the sisters hor, all damn
kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso. Last time Singalella got own maid,
but now she become the amah. Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, rub lah, massage lah, blow also simi sai mah pao-kah-liao. If her sisters say liak kar zhuak, she liak.

Tak jit zho kah tau-hin. CPF poon boh. Then no new shares oso No money to contribute S$50 ... cannot go out to bank also. But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party. So he say, "oeh, long chong kee ah." Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her marder say, 'lee mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru your sisters wu standard.

Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and marder. Tap pai how, buay koon and buay pang-sai. That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggimee. Her neighbour came over and ask, 'Eh, an-zhua boh kee party?' So Singalella kong, 'I-wan, lau bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian.' She never expect but her neighbour say,' Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money.' So Singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different. She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock at night olredi. At the party, Ah Ming also quite shien because the char bor all buay sui one. Dance floor even got one Ah Pek dancing. Just as Ah Ming told himself, 'Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat' Singalella came in.

Ah Ming straight away lau nuar. 'Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai.' Ah Ming say to Singalella, 'eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!'

Singalella say Ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there, but then just it was 12 o'clock one Ah Pek die on the dance floor. He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number. So after that, Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban. So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee. Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.

GRADES: Gauge Your Command of Hokkien

A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien
correctly: Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zhao.

A2. Can understand half story and/ or cannot
pronounce Hokkien properly-zhia lat

E8. Don't understand story and/ or catch no ball?
leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean

F9. Don't understand rating - kee see lah, wah mana
leh zhai lee kong simi?
Ah see lee bah lu gia A2, mian kee gia ritten
exemanation.

i'm so so angry now! my technical communications project presentation sucks BIG TIME! so angry at my group members. they don't seem to care about the marks. i wouldn't care less if it is individually assessed, but it was a group assessment damn it! i already asked them to do a rehearsal before the actual presentation, but NO they don't want to and they got angry at me for being so fussy. and now see what happened? they got all their facts wrong. and the way the present is also wrong. and we even messed up the whole sequence. one word : SCREWED.

i'm still experimenting with the colours and layout of this blog, and this is the best i can do so far. come on-lah, i forgot about html years ago wei!

ok i waited quite long to brag about this, but many people praised my cheese cake! although it was a bit..erm..not-so-perfect (ONLY the base) but the taste is still nice! actually, nothing much really to brag about since the cheese cake is very easy to make and there's no baking involved whatsoever. many people who ate my cheese cake wanted to learn how to make it too. mostly as a tool to impress the chicks. i know because i have that idea in my mind too.

i met a primary school teacher today. he's retired. how do i know him? actually he was teaching at the primary school which is adjacent to my primary school, sort of like a 2-in-1 school. i was in SK Tengkera 2 whereas he taught at SK Tengkera 1. he was a nice teacher and i happened to know his son too during secondary school. what makes him special to me is that when i was standard 1 or 2, i had a dream that i was fetched home by someone. that dream doesn't have a beginning or an ending, just something like a short movie to me. and then one day, my school bus went missing, and i was stranded at school with 2 other friends. so this teacher saw us and was wondering why we were still at school after so long. after telling him our story, he was kind enough to give us a ride home, but he had to stop at his house first. during the stop, a feeling of deja vu hit me. i actually dreamed about that moment! weird, huh? some people say it's good (dream about winning the lottery?), but when you're having nightmares...

i had my computer programming lab test in the evening. i was scared at first because i haven't really studied. but when i got hold of the question paper i was relieved. i know how to do that question! i felt weird when i was able to finish early but what the heck, i called the tutor to check. he was smiling..and then he said i was supposed to use arrays in my program. actually i kind of know that i need to use arrays, but i just pretend that i didn't know because the question didn't specifically say so. i saw other people not using it as well. the thing is, i sucked at using arrays. however, my program works perfectly. and just to double check, i asked him twice whether he was going to deduct marks for that and he said NO. safe! yet i don't think he would give me full marks either...

i finally learned how to make a cheese cake last thursday, and i managed to make one all by myself today! so proud of myself, hehe. even my god-sis wanted to learn from me now...

damn...i'm so tired this week! sleepless night doing the stupid database project. the lecturer isn't helping at all. he told us to ask him for guidance if we are in doubt, but everytime we try to ask him, he'll just say "i've told u everything, yes?" or "everything is in the online notes." if we knew how to do it, then why the hell do we need to ask him in the first place? stupid lecturer. worse still, everytime we see him during his official consultation hours, he would shoo us away and say he has some stuff to do. grr..felt like strangling him there and then!

it's just two weeks away from my final exams, and yet it doesn't feel like it. i have so many things due next week that i couldn't even find time to start studying for my finals. computer programming project and maths assignment due on 8th and 11th respectively, computer programming lab test on 5th, technical communications project presentation on the 6th and finally database project presentation on the 8th. i just hope i don't flunk my papers..but then again...my cgpa is definitely going to be bad...