finally calmed down after 2 days of extreme depression. finally i'm able to eat normally again. finally i'm able to understand the phrase "makan tak lalu, tidur tak lelap, mandi tak basah" (which reminds me of a funny thing, my friend actually add another phrase of his own when our BM teacher mentioned this during form 3 - berak tak keluar.) i've never thought i would be in that situation before. i've never thought that being hurt would cause such a big impact to a person. there's just something in your stomach that no matter how you force yourself to eat, you can never eat a full meal. it's really a struggle. and no matter how tired you are, you can never seem to sleep. it was torture!

during these few days, i was able to see the real faces of some people who i call friends. suddenly some of them became so concerned whether i'm ok or not, to which i replied "no". and then there's this overused phrase of "don't think too much lah...". but then again, there are some who managed to cheer me up a little. they did nothing but lend me an ear and some words of encouragement. there's nothing in the world which can console me at that moment so there's really no point trying. i felt much better knowing there's someone who understand my situation, who supported my actions and decisions, who felt that i was being treated unfairly, who felt that i have every right and reason to be depressed, angry, disappointed and hurt.

i guess that is part and parcel of life. i just need a lot of time to recover. shit happens.